17A


Do you know that 45% of people that have a phone break them because of a drop? Many people do not opt-in for the current protectors against drops because they are expensive and are not good looking. Today I’m going to give you a solution to find you a phone case that fills your needs. I’m David Somoza and I am the CEO of Lumos. Lumos is a new phone case that can protect your phone from even a 45 ft drop, that is good looking, not expensive and slim. Currently, in the market, there are a lot of cell phone covers that can protect your phone from 45 ft drops. What we don’t have is a cell phone cover that can protect your phone from a 45 ft fall, that doesn’t look like a box and is not that expensive. Those covers can go for up to $ 100. However, for only $20 you can get Lumos. A phone cover that is good looking, slim, not expensive and that can protect your phone from even a 45 ft fall. It doesn’t matter if your phone is IOS, Android or any other operating system. We will get it right for you! Thank you for your time!
I think that my first pitch was not the best. I focused on a lot of things that were not relevant. Most of the feedback I got was the urge to change my introduction and my problem. I talk a lot about myself in the introduction and not about the actual problem. Another important feedback I got was to change a little bit of my solution. I did give a solution on my pitch but I did not talk about a price or any specifics about the product.

 The feedback I got from my first pitch was very helpful. I started changing my introduction. I started my giving some statistics on the number of phone users that break their phones each year because they don’t have a cover. This was to grab the attention of my listeners. I also changed my solution a little bit because I did not have any numbers. This time I added a price tag on the product I’m trying to sell. I also rarely talked about myself. I think that this pitch was far better than my first one.

Comments

  1. SmashBro2October 28, 2019 at 2:42 AM

    Hey David,

    I like how you started off with a statistic before your into. That is a great way to relate to your audience and hook them into whatever you are trying to sell them. My only advice will be to try to follow that up and give more details about your product. Some more specifics on your product and what makes it stand out from the rest will go a long way, like how will it be able to withstand such a fall while also having an appealing look and being cheap to purchase? Also, why haven't any of the other companies attempted this if it was able to be done before?

    ReplyDelete

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